Every hit show from Grizzly Adams to the Muppets got by occasionally with a montage of flashbacks and dream sequences from previous episodes. Usually that is where the extra half hour came from for the special Christmas Episode. Fueled by his feverish tick dreams Sasquatch has been haunting and harassing the folks over at www.fatcyclist.com for their acute lack of imagination or their hero worship, or their rosy-cheeked Colorado gee whiz lifestyle by insinuating their mothers may have a less than noble attraction to him. I haven’t seen the old fella this worked up in years so I was inspired to pull together this special Labor Day episode of the bigringcircus I like to call-
What Sasquatch Said
What I seem to have is a tick bourne illness.
On Mystery the Untamable Stallion…
…When I unleash my eight stage plan for his destruction of which I’m only in stage 2, entitled, ‘Sasquatch Gets His Miles On’
upon dusting off his mountain bike…
The Lord has spoken, you bitches. Get ready to testify. It’s knobby time.
If you want to spot the Squatch, you’ve got to understand his wily, unpredictable, and explorative nature.
Low, Medium, and High made that baby the batmobile of bikes as far as I was concerned, and when it got stolen I was speechless for three days.
Rhino beetles are neither ferocious nor particularly dangerous.
Most pond skaters are wary and difficult to catch.
My leg’s a lot bigger than that.
Apocalyptic change is in the air.
It’s sort of like cycling meets tumbling, with a little less tuck and roll and a little more flail. Poetic flail.
And there you have it, random mutterings from our gentle giant. Not necessarily words to live by or anything but, it’s something, and it didn’t cost you a dime.